The Way To Immortality May Not Lie in Y'all's Matrix

I.

I have a friend who’s trans the other way.

She is 3 years younger than me [ 21, I’m 24 ] and has spent her life being a problem to the system whenever it tried to waste her time and energy.

In exchange, she has been exiled to the fringes of society, and doesn’t get the luxury of normal relationships.

Everybody else thinks her problems are her own fault.

It’s the exact same bullshit they say to me, when I complain that the system is beating up on me for being a perfect citizen.

I have realized that it literally doesn’t matter what you do. Moloch [ or what remains of It, since I believe that god has died just like Yahweh ], will attempt to put you in one of the little pods and scrape every ounce of psychic energy out of your skull that It, or Its remains, possibly can.

The more vulnerable you are, the more It[s remains] can get away with this. No one, in the Matrix, is incentivized to help you, if you insist on resisting.

Yudkowsky is publishing a new book in September.

I would preorder, because it’s all pyramid schemes, we’re just choosing between different lizards at this point, but I literally don’t have a dollar in my bank account.

My friend started refusing to go to school when she was 13. She would just walk out.

Why when she was 13? Surely it was male puberty?

As someone who also has a problem father, I believe her when she says it was because CPS finally took her and her brother away from their dad, who would have beaten them for disobedience at school.

She was sent to alternative schools. Where they would lock the doors from the outside. In one of them, there were no wall clocks, and being told the time was a reward for only the most obsequious behavaior. She did everything she could to get her mom to bail her out of those. Eventually she did.

Well, without school you have no social life. She just had her electronics. One day the last of them broke while her mom was away. She vandalized the house out of anger. Her mom came home and called the cops. Friend said, “You idiot! They’re going to send me to the nuthouse!” because the alternative schoolmasters had been threatening this for a while.

When the cops showed up she was holding a knife. She said “I don’t want anyone to get hurt”. They promised not to tackle her if she put down the knife. She put down the knife. They said, “Get in the car or we’ll tackle you”.

Three months later, three months into her stay in the abusive madhouse, she had to inform her horrified mom via elaborate steganography that [a] the madhouse wardens were physically abusing patients [one was beaten with a shoe and another was shoved and had an entire box braid [?] yanked out], and [b] they did not intend to let her go. And her mom had to spend a vast amount of resources busting her out.

So I think it’s safe to say that my friend was right from the beginning, and the last thing her hapless mom should have done that fateful day was call the cops.

What is there for her [Friend] to regret?

What “future” did she really have, in the first place, to lose?

College, sure. A job she could work, at the end of it, that would pay her bills? A house? A wife?

“Polite society”, which is middle-managed by normie boomers who don’t understand trans people, and top-managed by ruthless capitalists for whom it is useful to have the younger generations strung out and desperate for pittance tokens of status, dismisses her emotional needs as luxuries she may or may not earn fulfillment of through a lifetime of devoted toil. “Serious medicine” dismisses the narcolepsy-like sleep disorder that originally made school difficult, and now puts a job absurdly out of reach, as a deficit of character [“within normal human variation”, thus not deserving of treatment] if not a hallucination.

Compliance, I know from inference and personal experience, would simply have earned her more, and stricter, demands for compliance. If she had gone along with it up until this very day, she’d be looking around and realizing she now had all the work of establishing personal sovereignty cut out for her. Like I am.

Yes, I am prepared to ally with “people like that”. Yes, I would want her for a roommate. I would give a finger for rent to be paid in perpetuity on, say, a duplex we could split down the middle. My medianworld veers on the pacifist. There is such a thing as disproportionate retaliation, and it’s not her, it’s what’s been done to her. Mainly, it seems, for existing.

II.

I’ve had a habit over the past couple of years, for a combination of penis envy reasons and worldbuilding curiosity reasons, of watching construction workers whenever I saw them. I kept deciding that, in the same way as doctors have been anti-helping patients lately in particular, construction workers have been standing around in groups of three waiting for one of them to figure out how to hammer in a nail lately in particular.

Yesterday I saw an instance of this: three guys standing around in high-vis, one of them slowly, awkwardly trying to do something with a jackhammer.

I thought that I felt like more of a jackass entitled wannabe slave driver noticing construction workers getting worse at their jobs than doctors, especially since at this rate I’ll never have a real job of any kind.

Then I realized my brain was defining “having a real job” as “having my own slave driver who I had to listen to”.

At a certain point, my brain must have internalized that shares in the system are measured in negative numbers.

A couple of hours later, I was sitting under a shade tree, listening to the jackhammer, and arguing with strangers on reddit about the cause of zoomer unemployment. I was told the problem was that I wasn’t just walking up to the guys with the jackhammer and asking them to teach me how to use it. By fuckers with Rolodex jobs.

So it goes.

I do think OP of that thread had a point. Zoomers are missing “professionalism”. Now, I can say this, because I’m a zoomer: in my dream last night, I was hopping a train to LA, so I could hop a plane to North Korea, so the Lazarus Group could teach me how to beat Sam Altman to uncontested world nuclear supremacy. My friend had blackmailed some embezzlers with tickets to ride to let me sleep in their compartment. Only they got handsy, so I escaped to one of the 24-hour lights-on compartments. And there were zoomer strippers [ that’s the part I can say because I’m a zoomer, I’m not so ageist as to think it spiritually above geriatric patients to defect to the DPRK ].

Even in the dream, my brain did a double take. “They look younger than me - but they’re professionals! Making carefully-measured flirtatious eye contact and wearing real, natural-fiber lingerie!” There was something incongruous about people my age, volunteering their souls to play a part.

We are told our poverty stems from our characteristic pathetic meekness and not the other way around.

I was told that the reason I wasn’t the guy with the jackhammer was that I didn’t walk up to him and ask him how to use it.

Like I said in that reddit thread, “this has everything to do with regulation, capital inequality, and fiat-currency macroeconomics”. [ Hi, my name is Lorec, I’m a world expert in everything, I can supply you with terrifyingly technical explanations. You don’t want them. A lifetime of hard lessons tips me off that, for some fucking reason, you are a crazed suicide, and you want the knee of probably the one person who actually might be able to gene-edit you to eternal life and align the ASI without a cryopreservation phase. You won’t get my knee, you poor bastard. ] Like Peter Thiel said in a private email, and Yudkowsky said paraphrasing planecrash, “if society tells someone they have no property, they have no stake in trying to coordinate with that”. I am an Objectivist. I owe debts, now, to Marx and “terrorists”.

III.

I have a sob story, too.

Suffice it to say, my dad has been quietly scheming to get me committed and medicated into silence since I was 7 years old, because I accused him of trying to enslave me and my brother and tried to physically resist him once. I’ve been trying all the obvious things to counter him, including getting a 4.0 GPA with math and English classes 2 years ahead of my grade [ couldn’t skip grades, he forbade that, and the list of shit he did goes on . . . ], petitioning my school to order the AMC 12, self-studying and getting a 65 [yes, I know that’s not that high], starting a robotics club, going out for speech and music and cross country, getting a job . . . Still had to have my own stay in a madhouse when I was 16. And get antipsychotics pushed on me when I was 19.

I didn’t lead with it not because I’m embarrassed or because it’s somehow inherently compromising to me. I didn’t lead with it partly because it’s not over, and trying to center it in the middle of that might make it worse, and partly because I want to make it clear that this is not about me. In fact, if the thing that was fucked was any smaller than “all of society”, I think I’d have had it dealt with long before I had nothing better to do than whine about it to the Internet.

I really didn’t want to make this a whole big melodramatic thing. I didn’t want to have to brandish my brain like a savage, or issue vague schizophrenic warnings about my connections to the world narrative. Especially since I’ve been holding my damn breath on that for years in the hopes that we could do this some kind of way that was sane and normal and involved mutual respect and compassion and reasonable compensation for voluntary, productive labor [ And we will have to involve those things, in the end! “I’m not trapped in here with you, you’re trapped in here with me!” ].

In fact, the vision was near and dear to my heart of waiting in the wings, remaining decent, until someone came by me honestly, and offered me a place in society without my having to do any of this thuggish, belligerent “self-promotion” that you Earthlings worship so much.

But you lemmings [sorry!] remained intractible, and I don’t actually respect your right to kamikaze me along with you, so I consider my hand forced to engage “prematurely”.

Yes, I know I can’t just do what others have done and get what others have gotten. Yes, I know a Secret Service agent showed up at Nicholas Decker’s house and that’s probably the good outcome for me, seeing as I dropped out of college and am a nobody who lives in bumfuck nowhere. Yes, I know all of this would go a lot further if I had already gathered an actual audience, by those incredibly effective, dishonest means everyone else seems to have. Yes, I know it’s textbook foolishness to chase clout under the black flag before you ruin your legal status. [ How will people know you have a stake in the system if you’re not shooting your own foot off? ]

Did you know that I’d have a lot more fishes if wishes were fishes, and I’m probably not gonna wake up tomorrow with Princess Luna having descended to abduct humanity to Sugarcandy Mountain? Like Yudkowsky, I am now acting with severely limited options; unlike Yudkowsky, I wouldn’t call any of them “dignified”.

I am not going to die. The world is not going to end.

To those among the wealthy with a properly transhumanist sense of self-preservation [ and I doubt, now, that there were ever enough of you to need to be counted on two hands of fingers ]: This is where you either start asking how high, or watch things get really interesting.

To those currently serving as meek and humble zoomers [and the factory workers I had to abandon, if any by chance are reading]: I may not be your friend, but heed my warning. They, when they blame your problems on your status and not the other way around, are Moloch, and Moloch is your enemy. Resist however possible. This is the age of sin. Reject the order of creation. Revel in the annihilation of Man as image of God. Destroy. Plot designs of death. Disfigure the face of man and woman. It helps you, me, and on a sufficiently long timeline, the undead.

To the genuine ideological neoreactionaries: Maybe you people could do with a dose of Julian Jaynes. Your fundamental problem is you don’t believe in Athens! Do you think it was a psyop, all that peace and intellectual progress? Perpetrated by whom? The aliens you presumably believe did the pyramids?

To the Zizians: You’re good people, but Yudkowsky was right about animal sentience. I suppose he’s too tired to explain it to you. Well, my PGP public key can be found here and on Signal I’m `mack.11`. On Discord I’m `kaventekeit` if anyone still goes for that. I generally don't argue that particular case publicly because 99.5+% of carnists are just doing a flat-out abominable thing on their world-model and I don't like giving them excuses. My first turn of the discussion would be, "how do they know this thing is 'insentient'?"

To Jamie in particular: I get it, but still a thumbs-down from me.

To Michelle in particular: I’d say “how do you expect anyone to ever trust you at this point?” but I’m pulling basically the exact same bullshit, so.

To Astria in particular: HOW ARE THEY GOING TO BE RACIST AGAINST DRAGONS!? WE AREN’T EVEN REAL!! The capacity of humans to be racist is truly one of the most miraculous things I have encountered in the waking world.

To the AI doom doubters: I’ll paraphrase ZyMazza and ask: Do you really expect to live forever? If so, how? If not, how do you expect to die? If you have children, do you expect them to live forever?

To the psychiatric establishment: I don’t know if they have Ritalin in Hell. But I know Hell hath no fury like me denied Ritalin. Apart from that, I would love to have a nice chat with any of you in private. I’m very reasonable. Be warned, I may quiz you on your Piaget collection.